First Day of School

It really happened. After a two year struggle, yesterday was my first day back in law school! I was really nervous about it, but it turned out fine.

I arrived about 15 minutes before my first class, and I sat down in the big lecture hall. I was sitting in between two people I had met over the weekend at new student orientation. Most people had their laptops out, but I had my trusty notebook and pen. (I tried the laptop thing the first time around. The temptation of the internet and solitaire is too great.) When class started (contracts), the professor asked us to each introduce ourselves and say what we did immediately before law school. I'm in the part-time program, so there is a wide range of experience represented in my classmates. About half of them are engineers, and we have a few paralegals and a few people in the medical field. (I'm not sure who I fit in with. I'm licensed as a paralegal, but I work in the medical field in a non-legal capacity.) My challenge in that class will be that she wants us to think about contracts in a totally different way than my previous contracts professor. I'm probably going to have to un-learn some things.

After class got out, I had a half hour break before my next class (legal writing and research), so I grabbed some food from the vending machine and skimmed the introduction to my textbook. The professor e-mailed us the syllabus over the weekend and asked us to bring it to class today. When I headed to the classroom, I sat down and booted up my laptop because I hadn't printed the syllabus. (I can say it's because I'm saving a tree, but really it's because I lose papers.) I used my laptop during class whenever I needed to refer to the syllabus, and I didn't surf the web or play solitaire. I did, however, write my grocery shopping list while the professor was explaining the difference between federal and state courts. It probably looked like I was taking notes. :-) I really like my professor. He's excited about the subject matter, and his excitement is contagious. (My previous writing and research professor didn't care. He was just as bored with the class as we were, and it showed in the quality of his teaching.)

I have torts tonight, so we'll see how that goes. I had a fabulous torts professor the first time around, so that will be a hard act to follow. I think I'm going to have to reign in my enthusiasm. I volunteered to speak in each of my classes last night, and my writing and research professor already knows my name. (He met everyone at orientation, and he remembered me.)

I'm looking forward to the next few years. I plan on getting it right this time. A few weeks ago, I was praying, and I was concerned about what this whole law school debacle was going to do to my life. I realized that when all is said and done, I will be graduating five years after I would have graduated if I hadn't been kicked out the first time around. I know that the Atonement covers not just our wrongs, but also the effects of being wronged. I was praying for relief from being wronged at my previous school. I was expressing gratitude that I got into another school, one better suited for me, but also pain at being set back so far.

Later that day, I was sitting in a particularly boring sacrament meeting. Instead of fidgeting and daydreaming as I'm often tempted to do, I opened my scriptures and began to read. This passage in Joel stood out to me. The book details the desolation that is coming, but then offers these words of comfort:

Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the Lord will do great things...And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the fats shall overflow with wine and oil. And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten... And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed.

~Joel 2:21-27, emphasis added

The Spirit touched me as I read these words. I don't know how, but I know the Lord is going to give me back the years I've lost. He has power to make right things which have gone wrong. I worship the God of miracles, who overcame sin and death. Surely He can overcome something like this.

Hearing the Word

O earth, earth, earth, hear the word of the Lord.
~Jeremiah 22:29

I love studying the scriptures. I'll admit that I've been less diligent about it lately, but I definitely feel a difference in my life when I pay more attention to scripture study. A few years ago, when President Hinckley invited the membership of the church to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to do it. I was working and going to school, and it seemed that I spent more time in my car than at home. I discovered that the scriptures were online in .mp3 format, so I downloaded them to my ipod and began listening.

I found that having audio scriptures gave me the chance to make my commute productive, but there were some annoying factors as well. First was that if I wanted to listen to actual music, I had to scroll through screens and screens of scriptures before getting to songs. Second was that if I had to stop in the middle of a chapter, I would lose my place if I waited too long to pick it back up again. Third was that the narrator is irritating.

I'm pleased to say that last week I found solutions to the first two problems. (No help on the annoying narrator voice, though.) I downloaded some audio books, and I was pleased to notice that they were in a separate section of my ipod, labeled conveniently "audiobooks". They didn't clutter up my music playlists, and best of all, they were bookmarkable. I wouldn't lose my place even if I plugged my ipod in, listened to other audiobooks, or listened to music.

I googled to see if anyone had made the scriptures in audiobook format. I wasn't able to find it, but I found the next best thing. There is a free computer program available that will convert .mp3 files into .m4b files, the ipod audiobook format. It also allows you to take multiple .mp3s and make them into a large audiobook. I downloaded it and it works great. Instead of having hundreds of files across 87 playlists in my music section (one for each book in the standard works), I have 12 files sitting in my audiobook section. My ipod is neat and tidy and I can find my music again.

The Gall of Bitterness

For the past few months, I've had random nausea and stomach pain after eating. It didn't happen all the time, or even consistently with the same foods. Mostly it has been fatty foods, spicy foods, and onions. I finally decided to go to the doctor yesterday, and he thinks it's my gallbladder. I need to get an ultrasound to see if that's the problem, and if it is, I'll probably need surgery.

I'm extremely nervous about this. I was hoping it was something easy like an ulcer. (My mom had ulcers a few years ago, and she just took some medicine for a few months and recovered with no problems.) I've never had surgery before, unless you count getting my wisdom teeth removed. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that whatever is wrong won't require surgery, and that I'll have it all taken care of before I start school again in 3 weeks.

Around the Bloggernacle- Volume 3

Here is another installment of posts around the Bloggernacle that I found to be interesting.

Ronan at By Common Consent has a post about recurring dreams. It seems that many people dream about returning to their mission area.

Kiskilili at Zelophehad's Daughters has a random survey post where the commenters are encouraged to respond to a set of questions. Apparently the cello is quite popular among readers of that blog.

The Baron at The Waters of Mormon is doing a series of posts on movies. It contains a discussion of what our standards of propriety really mean, what the ratings mean, etc. I found it interesting.

In other news, I've completely rearranged my bedroom furniture, and both of my roommates are moving out. My cat is upset by this development because her tidy little world has been upended. I'm sure she'll be happier once my roommate's cat is gone. (Those two cats can't stand one another.) Now I get to go through the hassle of finding new roommates.

Mid-Year Resolutions

It's been six months since I wrote my New Year's Resolutions. I had a rather ambitious list, and I've decided that this is a good time to report on my progress.

My first resolution was to return to law school in the fall. Fall hasn't arrived yet, but I've been accepted to law school and have plans to return in August. So far, so good.

My second resolution was to read at least one book per month. I've joined a book club, and this has been great for helping me keep this goal. I've read some books I never would have picked up on my own, and it's broadened my horizons. I plan to keep this resolution up for the rest of the year, but it may become challenging when school starts up again.

My third resolution was to write at least one blog entry per week. I've come close, but I haven't quite made it. Here's to the rest of the year.

My fourth resolution was to exercise for 20 minutes per day, 6 days per week. I've failed miserably at this one. I know I feel better when I work out, but somehow I tend to find excuses to put it off. I'm going to modify this goal to 30 minutes 3 days per week. That sounds more manageable.

My fifth resolution was to meditate for 20 minutes per day. I haven't been meditating formally, but I do tend to spend my commute time pondering. I guess that's a start.

My sixth resolution was to have 20 minutes of quality gospel study each day. I haven't been as good about this as I should have. It goes in spurts, and I'm pretty good about it on Sundays. I'm going to recommit myself to this goal.

My seventh resolution was to go on at least three social outings per month. I'm pleased to report that I've managed to fulfill this goal. My once stagnant social life is starting to revive, and I'm enjoying spending time with old friends and making new ones.

My eighth goal was to get a job in the legal field that is sufficient to pay my bills. I'm still looking. I've been temping while I've been waiting to find out what is going on with school. Now that I know I'm staying in the area, I'm going to redouble my efforts. I'm sick of answering the telephone at venture capital firms. I'm ready to go and do some paralegal work.

How are you all doing on your New Year's Resolutions?

The Prodigal Daughter

And it came to pass that Keri had some wonderful news. Since writing is fun, she composed ripped off a parable in order to share it.

There was a generous mother who had a daughter who was ready to leave the nest for greener pastures. Her friends and family begged her to stay, reminding her of the opportunities that would come to her by staying in such a noble house. However, the daughter had heard of other houses and wanted to see how they did things there. She asked for her mother's blessing in departing, and it was readily given.

The daughter wandered and stumbled into the first house that she saw. There were people there, and all of them were miserable. The master of the house tried to convince the people that they should be grateful to be there, because no other house would have them. The daughter stayed for a short while and then desired to find a friendlier house. However, she was not welcome anywhere else. Eventually, the house suffered ignominy, and many of the people, including the daughter, were asked to leave.

The daughter begged to be allowed back into the house. The master gave her a list of tasks to perform and said that if she did them well, she would be allowed to return. The daughter did the tasks, but the master did not keep his word. Additionally, the master spread the word to the other houses that the daughter shouldn't be allowed anywhere else, either.

The daughter wandered for the next year, before finding a hut. She was welcomed warmly into the hut and stayed there for many months. The people were kind there, and treated her like family. Finally, the hut became too small, and the daughter hit the road again. She decided that she wanted to return to her mother's house, but she wasn't sure if she could go back. It had been several years since she had left.
She sent a letter to her mother begging to return. She received word from her mother's assistant that her mother was traveling abroad at the moment and would respond in a few months. The daughter anxiously waited. Her friends all told her that her mother would be delighted to have her return. She wanted to believe them, but she remembered the words of the master of the miserable house. "Nobody else will have you."

She got a letter from a cousin in a faraway country inviting her to come to stay for a while. She wrote to the cousin and said she would come soon. Then she got a telegram from her mother inviting her with open arms to return home.

This concludes the parable of the prodigal daughter. At this point, Keri's readers said, "That's a nice story, if a bit long. What does it mean, anyway?"

Keri said:

The mother in the story is my alma mater, Latin for "generous mother". I'm the daughter. The dwellings (houses, huts, etc.) are institutions of higher learning.

I graduated from Santa Clara University with my BS five years ago. I knew that I wanted to go to law school, and many people urged me to consider going to SCU. I thought about it, but I wanted to diversify my resume a bit. I had heard (and I don't know how true it is in practice) that it's frowned upon to get one's undergraduate degree and graduate degree from the same institution. I began the law school search, but suspended it in order to serve a mission.

When my mission concluded, it was Christmas time. I wanted to jump right back into school, so I applied to and was accepted at the only ABA accredited school I was aware of at the time that allowed first year students to start in the spring. (I have since become aware of several others.) I enrolled and quickly realized that I had made a big mistake. The school had an inferiority complex, brought on by its low bar passage rate. The administrators told us we were lucky to get in anywhere, and that we shouldn't complain.

After the first semester, I applied to transfer to another school, but I was rejected. At the end of my first year, the school was placed on probation by the ABA, and was threatened with losing its accreditation if the bar passage rate didn't improve. At the end of my third semester, the school freaked out and purged most of my class because our scores would be the determining factor. I got kicked out along with several others, even though I had been given an academic excellence award the week before.

I reapplied and was denied readmission. As a result of all of this, I had to wait two years before re-enrolling in law school. Some of what I've been up to I posted on here. After a year, I enrolled in a paralegal program at the local junior college. The people were great, and I graduated magna cum laude in December. My waiting period expired last week, and in preparation for that, I sent out several law school applications, the status of which I detailed here.
I got waitlisted at Santa Clara, and... *drumroll* I just found out yesterday that I have been admitted! The prodigal daughter is returning home!!!

Words can't express how excited I am over this development. (Although that doesn't stop me from blogging about it.) I was fortunate to get accepted to St. Mary's, a fourth-tier school similar in ranking to the one I was kicked out of. It's truly a miracle to be accepted to a first tier law school.

High on a Mountain Top

I spent last weekend at a family reunion in Park City. It was fun, but they just don't have enough air there. I'm used to living at sea level, so when I got to the resort, it was a challenge just to lug my suitcase up two flights of stairs to my room. I checked the GPS, and it said the elevation was 7200 feet.

Day 1: Thursday (Bay Area, CA)- I started out by packing in the morning, and then I attended a high school graduation for a family friend in San Jose. It ended at 6:30, and I had to make it to San Francisco to catch an 8:45 flight. Through some miracle, I made it to the BART station with 5 minutes to spare. I texted my roommate to let her know where my car was so she could pick it up that evening, thus saving me from having to pay for parking. (It worked out great for her, too. She doesn't have a car, so I let her use it for the weekend.) I got to the airport and breezed through security, but my sandals broke. (They were old anyway.)
I grabbed a hot cocoa from Peet's and headed to my gate. My flight was listed as being 15 minutes delayed, so I fired up my laptop and checked my e-mail and read the news. I called my dad, who was going to pick me up at the airport in Salt Lake, and let him know that I would be late.
It came time to board the plane. I had all of my stuff in one of those rolling backpacks that's smaller than a suitcase, but bigger than a standard backpack. We were flying on one of those tiny planes, and my bag wouldn't fit in the overhead compartment. Fortunately, it did fit under my seat. We headed out. Due to cost cutting or something, they didn't even serve pretzels or peanuts- just beverages. By the time I landed in Salt Lake, I was quite hungry. I bought a bag of trail mix from the gift shop and headed to find my dad. We met up and went to Park City. We got in at 1:30 am and I promptly went to bed.

Day 2: Friday (Park City, UT)- I was the last person to arrive. Everyone else had been there all week. I was also the only person who had flown instead of driving. Most of the relatives are in the Salt Lake area, and my parents and sister live in San Jose. When I got up in the morning, I was mobbed by hugs from my cousins (ranging in age from 5 to 17), and we all decided to ride the alpine slide. I had never been on an alpine slide, and the way they described it, I was expecting something resembling a roller coaster. It wasn't until I was on my way up the ski lift that I saw what it really was. (Imagine a bobsled going down concrete instead of snow.) I got a bit scared, which amused the kids. I rode down the slide, and it was fun.
The afternoon was a bit of a lazy day, and in the evening, we had the actual reunion itself. We had a dinner and a program. There were about 30 people present, and it was fun. The only awkward part is that the adults don't fully accept me as one of them because I'm single and in a different generation than they are, despite only being 5 years younger than some of them. The kids don't fully accept me as one of them because I'm an adult. So, my 23 year old sister and I hung out together a lot.

Day 3: Saturday (Kaysville, UT)- My parents and sister piled into the minivan and headed back home. I went back to Kaysville with my grandparents because I had decided to stay an extra day. My grandmother took me with her for grocery shopping and errands, and then we hung out and played board games until we were so tired that we needed to get some sleep. It was fun. My parents called in the evening to let us know that they had arrived safely (and in record time- 12 hours).

Day 4: Sunday (Kaysville, UT)- My dad called in the morning to wish his dad (my grandfather) a happy Father's Day. This relieved me of needing to call him because I just talked to him when he was done. I got ready for church and headed with my grandparents to attend their ward. I was wearing a nice pantsuit, and nobody said a word about it. Their ward consists almost entirely of elderly couples who live on the same block as my grandparents. I felt a bit out of place, being one of the few people under 50 in attendance. It happened to be ward conference, and the way their stake does it, there is a 2 hour sacrament meeting followed by a combined priesthood/relief society meeting. The speakers ran over, so the congregational hymn was cut. I must confess to tuning many of the talks out because my attention span just isn't that long.
After church, I packed and then went to my aunt's house in Fruit Heights. I visited with her for an hour or so before my grandmother took me to the airport. I once again breezed through security and headed to my gate. I got lucky this trip- I usually get harassed by security whenever I fly. (I blame the red hair. Makes me stand out.) The flight home was uneventful, and we actually got snack service. My dad picked me up at the airport and dropped me off at my apartment. (I told him I could just take BART home, but he wouldn't hear of it.)
When I got home, my cat came running out to greet me, and then I went straight to bed.

It was great to get away for the weekend, and it went better than I was expecting. I was planning for a family feud because my sister doesn't get along with my uncle's wife. However, they were both on their best behavior, and I didn't have to avert any battles. Even with the thin air, the mountains were beautiful. I felt the peace I feel in nature, but that tends to elude me in daily life. I think it's because sometimes I fail to stop and just enjoy the beauty that is all around me.

All Results Are In!

I just got my last law school admissions letter, so all results are in.

Six schools spread throughout the western US- rejected (their loss)
University of Nevada- Las Vegas- waitlisted
Santa Clara University (Santa Clara, CA)- waitlisted
St. Mary's University (San Antonio, TX)- accepted

I'm going to hold out for the waitlists for as long as possible, but failing that, it's off to San Antonio. I may not know until the middle of August. I'll keep you posted.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

When I was pursuing my undergraduate degree, I had an active social life. I was constantly spending time with friends, and I had a steady boyfriend. I was involved in clubs and activities, and I was doing work that I found meaningful. Those were the best three years of my life.

The past five years, since I graduated, have been difficult. I went on a mission and struggled. I went to law school and struggled. I got kicked out of law school and struggled. I've been working two jobs just to make ends meet, and I'm struggling. Somewhere along the way, I think I've forgotten how to have fun.

The story of Adam and Eve has broad application to the human experience in general. I think we all have to eat our own fruit at some point. My college days were filled with a sense of childlike innocence. I was going to school on my parents' money. I had no worldly cares, and all my time was free for school, church, and fun. When I went on my mission, I saw the world in its rudeness. In the pursuit of greater knowledge, I had to leave the garden, so to speak. When I returned home, I was required to work to earn my daily bread.

As hard as it has been, I wouldn't trade it for anything. These experiences have been integral in my rebirth as a wiser person. One of my favorite verses of scripture is 2 Nephi 2:25. "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy." I had to partake of the symbolic fruit to become the person I am today, but God wants me to have joy. Not just grinning and bearing it, but to truly be happy.

By nature, I'm a social creature, but when I'm under stress, I tend to retreat into my shell and try to just hide from everything. This only makes the problem worse because by avoiding social interaction, I'm avoiding the major cure to my problems. This past week, I've made strides toward remembering how to have fun again. On Tuesday, my roommates and I went out for sushi and then came home and watched the movie Martian Child. While at the sushi bar, I attempted to use chopsticks, and ended up flinging soybeans everywhere. It was a good laugh. On Friday, I was blessed with the first Friday night off in months. Some of my friends were going to see the new Indiana Jones movie, so I went with them. We had a blast, even though the movie wasn't as good as I was hoping. It was the company I was there for, not the entertainment.

My goal is going to be to get out of my shell more and try to recapture the zest for life I had when I was younger. I recognize that I still have to be a responsible adult and work for a living, but I've taken wisdom from the 1980's. Cyndi Lauper reminds us in her hit song:
"When the working day is done,
Girls just wanna have fun!"

Words to live by. :-)

What is it about trees?

I was walking through the park last week on my lunch break. It was a nice day, so I decided to sit down under a redwood tree and enjoy the weather. As I was sitting there thinking about the direction my life was heading, I realized that there are many epic stories of people receiving enlightenment near trees.

Adam and Eve started out in a state of ignorance. They gained knowledge by eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Buddha received his enlightenment while sitting under a Bodhi tree. It is commonly said that Isaac Newton discovered gravity while sitting under an apple tree and having an apple fall on his head.

What is it about trees? I know that when I'm in nature, especially in forests, I feel closer to God. I am more easily receptive to revelation. I suspect it is because I'm away from the distractions that are so common in the world. Also, I see trees as a reminder of a wise way to live life. They are firmly rooted in the earth, but they are always reaching heavenward. We, too, should enjoy our mortal life while still communing with the divine.