Merry Christmas

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. I love the opportunity to pause and think of the Savior, and I love spending time with my family.

Why I Stay

Sorry for the lack of blogging. Finals really swamped me this semester. (I'm done, thank goodness.)

This post is a response to a thread on Feminist Mormon Housewives. A non-member wrote in asking what concerns feminist LDS women have with the church, and a lengthy thread ensued. One commenter, also a non-member, asked what makes feminist LDS women stay active in a church with such a patriarchal structure. Since the thread got long, and people started talking past one another, I decided to respond on my blog instead.

In the New Testament, Christ preached many things to the people. At one point, many people became offended and stopped following Him. Christ's exchange with his apostles as a result is instructive.

From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.
Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.

John 6:66-69.

I have received a witness from the Holy Spirit that God's authority, the priesthood, is contained within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Although the people who make up the church are imperfect, the church is still authorized. In the words of Peter, "to whom shall [I] go?" I have faith that all of the things that are wrong with the patriarchy will be made right through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

When the priesthood was extended to all worthy male members of the church without regard to race, one of the things that stuck out to me in Official Declaration 2 was that the revelation came about in part because of the "faithfulness of those from whom the priesthood has been withheld." Today, my sisters and I are those from whom the priesthood has been withheld. I can't expect change if I'm not faithful. My faith can be a driving force in preparing the way for God to continue to fix man's errors.

The Sabbath Day

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

Exodus 20:8-10

I love the Sabbath. I love having a day set aside for spiritual pursuits, a day where I can say no to worldly cares. Some of the best Sabbaths I've had have been when I've been visiting my extended family. We sit and talk and get caught up with one another. The conversations range from current events to what's going on in our lives, to spiritual topics. It feels refreshing.

I live in an apartment right now with four other women. I'm the only Sabbath observer in the apartment. We're in pretty close quarters, so it's hard to find a quiet space sometimes. I've come to realize that in many ways, the Sabbath is a feeling I can carry with me, regardless of what is going on around me.

When the Ten Commandments were given, two reasons were listed for the commandment to observe the Sabbath:
In Exodus 20:11, we are reminded of the story of the creation. "For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it."
In Deuteronomy 5:15, we are reminded of the miracle of the children of Israel being led out of Egypt. "And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the Lord thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the Lord thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day."

We live in an increasingly 24/7 world. Obviously, there is some work that must be done, even on the Sabbath. Police officers, fire fighters, and emergency room personnel must be available at all times. When my car broke down on the way home from church, I was grateful that a tow truck driver was working and was able to help me pull my modern-day ox out of the mire.

However, I worry about what is going to happen to my Sabbath observance when I get out into the legal field. I already feel at a bit of a disadvantage even in law school, since I don't study or do homework on Sunday. I have six days to do what everyone else has seven days to do, and with how competitive law school is, it's a sacrifice. (I've been blessed for making that sacrifice, so I'm not complaining.)

I know I have several lawyers who read my blog. How do you manage observing the Sabbath while working as a lawyer? For you non-lawyers out there, how do you manage Sabbath observance with your job?

Rebirth

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

John 3:3

I've gone through several periods in my life that I would categorize as rebirths. I experienced my first rebirth in my mid-teens when I became converted to the gospel. My second rebirth came when I reached adulthood. I received the ordinances of the temple when I was 19, partly because I used this as a symbol of my rebirth as a grown woman. I experienced another rebirth on my mission. This was perhaps the most striking rebirth of all. I can honestly say I am a completely different person as a result of that experience. (Some of the change was for the better, and some of the change was for the worse.) I experienced another rebirth during my hiatus from law school. This was a painful rebirth, but I drew nearer to God through that experience than through anything else I've experienced in my whole life. I gained a new and greater understanding and appreciation of the Atonement.

I'm standing on the cusp of another rebirth, and it frightens me. I'm at the point in my law school career where I need to start figuring out what I'm going to do with my life. I know my goal, but I don't know how to get there. When I've asked for advice, I get conflicting information.

Some of my professors have told me that as long as I persevere, get good grades, and write well, I should be able to get a tenure-track position, but that it will take a while. A few of my professors say that since I didn't go to an elite law school, the best I can hope for is teaching legal writing and research. If I could pick one subject in all of law school that I don't want to teach, it's legal writing and research. The dean of career services is convinced that I can't become a professor, and she's trying to track me into litigation. If there's anything I want to do less than teach legal writing and research, it's litigate.

Since my call to teach came from God, I know He'll tell me how to get there, and He'll help me become the person He needs. It's a scary process not knowing what's ahead, though. I've been drowning in schoolwork, and I haven't been as good at spiritual pursuits as I should be. I still pray and read the scriptures and go to church, but my pondering and temple attendance have slipped. I don't remember the last time I went to the temple, but it's probably been several months. I made time in my schedule to go tonight after work. Hopefully I'll get some more direction.

I know this is a rather rambling, disjointed post, but that's how I'm feeling right now - rambling and disjointed. I tend to grow the most when times are uncertain, but it's unnerving in the moment. I'm sure I'll be able to look back on this time and see the Lord's hand in it, but right now, I'm feeling a bit like I'm just hanging.

Question on Academic Ethics

I'm posting this on behalf of a friend, with her permission. The story is substantially accurate, but identifying details have been removed or altered due to the sensitive nature of the situation. It takes place at a small private law school in a large metropolitan area. My friend is an unmarried female law student in her mid twenties, and the professor in question is an unmarried male non-tenure-track professor in his late thirties.

Prof and Student have known each other for about a year. They met because Student was in Prof's class. After several months, Student began coming to Prof's office hours to get help on her writing. (The class was a legal writing class.) They began to develop a professional relationship, since Student is considering becoming a legal writing teacher. Student began to develop a small crush on Prof, but she ignored it because she knew it was improper. The course was graded anonymously on a strict curve.

Student is in Prof's class again this year. This time, the course is not graded anonymously, and the curve is less strict. Student's crush has developed into full-on romantic interest. They have a lot in common, including similar non-professional interests. (They're both musicians and they both share a love of science fiction and philosophy.) Prof has been giving subtle signals that he may have romantic interest as well. (However, Student isn't completely sure.) Prof makes excuses to extend office hours conversations beyond their natural conclusion, and he has been getting into Student's personal space when they speak. (Though he has not made any physical contact.) He blushes when she catches him looking at her, and mutual acquaintances have said that his face lights up when she enters the room.

Student is conflicted by this because she enjoys the attention, but she is concerned about impropriety. Nothing in the situation has crossed into violation of the university policy, but it's creating an uncomfortable situation. [She assures me that if she had met him in a non-university setting, she would completely welcome this attention and pursue a relationship. Her only concern is with the academic setting.]

Last week, a rough draft of the semester's main piece of writing was due. It was worth half the grade for the semester. Student turned in her work, though she was unsatisfied with it. Prof said (to the whole class) that he would return the drafts with comments in two weeks, giving everyone two weeks to make changes before turning in the final paper.

Here's where the ethics issue comes in:
Yesterday, Student went to Prof's office during office hours to ask a question on a subject unrelated to the paper. Prof answered the question, and when Student was prepared to leave, Prof brought up the paper. He told her his thoughts on her paper, and gave her rather specific advice on what she needed to do to fix it in order to succeed on the final paper. This is in contrast to several other students who have asked for advice. The other students have been told that everyone will receive written comments next week. Student wonders if Prof is giving her an unfair advantage over her classmates.

Questions for consideration:
1) Is Prof giving Student an unfair advantage, or is Student merely being rewarded for being proactive in frequent attendance in office hours? (Prof has mentioned that most students don't come to office hours.)
2) Do you think Prof's extra attention is related to shared professional goals, or related to Prof's personal feelings toward Student?
3) Should it matter?
4) Has Prof done anything unethical or wrong?
5) What should Student do?

Random Linking Goodness

I've been so busy with school that I haven't had time to blog. Here's a collection of links, both Bloggernacle and non-Bloggernacle, for your enjoyment.

General Conference was this past weekend, and several blogs have written about it. I haven't had a chance to watch all of it yet, but what I've seen has been good. For blog conversation, By Common Consent and Times and Seasons (both linked in the sidebar) are excellent.

Over at Dave's Mormon Inquiry, Dave takes on the problem of evil.

Hugo Schwyzer posted about a book called Jesus Girls, which is a collection of essays by teenage Evangelical feminists. (His blog is excellent all around. This is just his latest offering.)

On a completely unrelated note, one of my classmates introduced me to the music of a local (Berkeley, CA) band called "The Morning Line". They're sort of a cross between indie rock and alt country, and they're amazing. I'm kind of a music snob, since I'm a classically trained opera singer, but I approve. My favorite song is the demo of Staten Island. (It's the one listed at the bottom of the playlist when you click the link.) Unfortunately, it looks like they're not producing anything new these days.

30 Days of Scripture Study

When I was a teenager, I read my scriptures every day. I continued this through college and my mission. I derived strength and inspiration from daily study of the word of God. After my mission, my scripture study started to slip. I would miss a day here and a day there, and it got to the point that I would sometimes go for a week or two at a time without opening the scriptures. (I would still read and ponder spiritual things, but there's no substitute for the primary source.)

I've had a concern that has been weighing heavily on my mind for the past several weeks. (I may blog about it later, but not now.) I was talking to one of my friends about it, and she gave me the best advice. She told me that I should take the problem to the Lord and study the scriptures every day for 30 days with that particular problem in mind. She had done that once, and it changed her life.

I'm on day 5 now. I haven't experienced anything life-changing yet, but I'm feeling a greater measure of peace and spirituality. I'm noticing the hand of the Lord more fully in my life. I'm getting back into the habit of regular scripture study. (I hear it takes 21 days to create a habit, so I'm hoping I can get the habit ingrained.)