Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Meditations on Meditation

This week is final exams at school, or as I like to call it, Judgment Day. It's where I reap the just rewards of a semester's worth of procrastination.

This semester has been no different. I'm not as prepared as I would have liked. On Monday evening, I had my first final, in contracts. Contracts is one of my weaker subjects; I didn't do well the first time around. I was really nervous about this exam, but by 5:00 pm (for a 6:00 pm final), I realized that I was as prepared as I was going to be.

My favorite spot on campus to meditate is in the garden behind Mission Santa Clara. There is a statue of Christ with a Latin inscription of Matthew 11:28-30, which is one of my favorite scriptures. I went over there and began to (silently) pour my heart out to God. I explained how nervous I was about this exam, and how I realized that if I mess this second chance up, I won't get a third chance. I pleaded for divine help and promised I would do better and work harder in the future. (I was completely sincere in that promise.)

Afterward, I stood there for a while and felt the Spirit wash over me. I was reminded of promises the Lord has given me regarding my education. I was reminded that even though I could have theoretically done more this semester, I did enough, and that I would be able to remember what I learned this semester and also what I learned my first time in law school. I felt confident and at peace.

I went in to take the exam. As the test began, I read over the fact pattern, and information suddenly began to flow. It was amazing. I knew that some of the information was stuff I had studied, but much of it was direct inspiration. I was able to concentrate for the duration of the exam, which is something that is often difficult for me. (I'm easily distracted.) At the end of the exam, I was exhausted, but I felt like I did well enough.

I don't know why I got that extra help. I'm sure there are people more deserving, and I know there are more pressing concerns in this world than my grade on a contracts exam. I'm just grateful that God was mindful of me.

Tomorrow I have my torts exam, which I'm less concerned about. Then I'm done for a month. I'm really looking forward to the time off.

1 comment:

Stephen said...

Wish you well, I remember law school.

For a moment I thought you were blogging on mediation -- a hobby of mine ( is my web site), but that comes later in law school.