I Passed the Bar!

I finally passed the bar exam. I found out on Friday afternoon, but the news hasn't really sunk in yet. In a way, I kind of feel like the cartoon where Wil E. Coyote finally caught the road runner. Once he realized that he had achieved his goal, he held up a sign that said something like "Okay. I caught him. Now what?!" So, I passed the bar, which is something I've been chasing for years. Now what?

To Hear My Soul's Complaint

One popular LDS hymn is I Know that My Redeemer Lives. I'm not particularly a fan of that hymn because I find the music to be dull and a bit repetitive, and it kind of plods along. (Give me something upbeat and brassy like Praise to the Lord, the Almighty.) But I was thinking about it as I was driving home from work yesterday, and something stuck out to me.

In verse 2, there's the line "He lives to hear my soul's complaint." When I was a teenager, this struck me as odd, since the scriptures seemed to have a pretty negative view of complaining (calling it "murmuring" and asserting that it was unrighteous and faithless). I had an epiphany yesterday.

In legal terms, a complaint is the first document filed in a lawsuit. It's a list of the plaintiff's grievances, along with factual allegations to support those grievances. After listing the grievances, there's a section entitled "prayer for relief", which is a request for the court to do something about the problem.

I like that imagery of God. God, being sovereign and omnipotent, has subject matter jurisdiction over our problems and personal jurisdiction over our adversaries. And He wants to hear our troubles. In fact, we have been instructed to cast our burdens on the Lord. (See Psalm 55:2, Matthew 11:28-30.) We can tell Him our concerns and pray for relief, and He has the power to grant the requested relief. And if it's a proper request, He will grant it.

Writer's Block

I have so many things that I want to say, but I can't seem to get them into writing. I think part of it is that it's easier to dash off a quick comment in a Facebook group than it is to sit down and write out a thoughtful blog post.

The bar exam (which I took in February yet again, though in a different state this time) kind of wore me out. Plus, I can feel myself getting sick again. I did some more lab testing last week, and I'll find out soon whether my thyroid has gotten worse, or whether I've had an adrenal relapse. (Or whether my body has decided to break in new and interesting ways...) I'm just so tired all the time.

I'm going to a mid-singles' conference this weekend, and there's a pretty good speaker lineup. Elder Holland is the keynote, so I'm sure I'll have something to report. Instant blogging material!

In no particular order, here are the topics I'm considering blogging about once I can focus long enough to do so:

• Life is a kobiyashi maru
• Thoughts on theodicy
• Gifts of the spirit
• When personal revelation doesn't work out the way we expect
• Finishing up my ten commandments series
• A series on the articles of faith
• Gender-neutral hymns

Feminism and Missionary Service

Sorry I've been so absent lately. My muse has left me, and I've been really busy with health challenges, a career change, and the bar exam (again). If I get a few moments, I'll update on those fronts.

Today at Zelophehad's Daughters, Galdralag has a post about feminism and serving a mission. A friend sent in a list of questions directed at women who have served missions. I answered the questions in the comments there but thought that it would be useful to reprint my responses here as well. So, below are eleven questions I was asked about serving a mission. Feel free to add your responses in the comments, but please also consider posting them at ZD so that the wider Bloggernacle can benefit from your wisdom.

Preparation for the Temple

Last week, a close family friend went to the temple to receive her endowment. In preparation for that event, I wrote her a letter with temple preparation advice. The first half of the letter was practical advice about garment styles, and the second half was about the theology of the temple, with the specific purpose of mitigating some of the gendered language of the ceremony. I've reproduced the second half of the letter below, edited to remove any personal information.

I will be moderating comments on this post due to the sensitive nature of the topic. Comments that violate the comment policy or that quote lengthy excerpts from the temple ordinances will not be posted.

Update

I've been away from the blog for a while, but I'm still here. I took the bar exam a few weeks ago, and I think it went well. I have a few non-bar-exam-related posts in the draft stage, but I have been too tired to write much of anything. I'll try to get something out within a week or so.

Heirs According to the Promise

Longtime readers of my blog will note that one of my favorite verses of scripture is Galatians 3:28. I was pondering the passage recently when I had an epiphany.

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. And if ye be Christ’s, then are ye Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Galatians 3:27-29

 I started wondering what exactly this promise we are heirs to consists of. We hear about the Abrahamic covenant at church, but not in great detail. So I went to the scriptures for answers.

In Abraham 2, God speaks to Abraham and establishes a covenant with him.

Bar Exam Blues

I failed the bar exam. Again.

When I took the bar in February, I told myself that it was the last bar exam I would take, and if I failed, then so what. It's not like I really need to be a member of the bar to be a law professor or HR professional.

But, just like Marty McFly can't stand the thought of being called "chicken", I can't stand the thought of quitting at something. So, against my better judgment, I'll be taking the bar exam in July. Third time's a charm!

I've identified what went wrong the last two times, and I'm working to fix it by changing my study plan. I'm out of my toxic former job and into a new one, so I have renewed emotional energy. Unfortunately, my health problems have flared up again, sapping my physical energy.

I have friends to study with this time around, which is helping. (I graduated a year ahead of my friends, so they're all studying for their first try. I get to be the wise trail-weary guide on this journey of the blind leading the blind.) It was really hard to study alone the last two times.

Christ is Risen

Happy Easter! This post is a rerun of one from last April. I recycle!

That first Easter morning, Mary Magdalene arrived at the tomb of Jesus at sunrise and found the tomb empty.

But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre,
And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus.
Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.
John 20:11-17

There are many people Christ could have chosen to appear to first. He could have appeared to the leaders of the government or the synagogue. (Honestly, that would have been awesome. Talk about taunting them with the whole "you killed me but I came back to life" thing. But obviously, Jesus is way more humble than that and not prone to gloating.) He could have appeared to the apostles. Instead, He chose to appear to Mary Magdalene.

Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.
Mark 16:9

Society at that time was heavily patriarchal, so it is definitely worth noting that Christ chose a woman to be the first person to see Him after His resurrection. I also find it interesting that Mark notes that Christ had cast seven devils out of Mary. The number seven is often used in the Bible to indicate totality or completeness. Mary had been seriously afflicted (either by demonic possession as the text indicates, or perhaps by mental illness, since people in ancient times often attributed mental illness to possession), and Christ healed her. Another interesting point, which I only noticed a few days ago, is that Christ appeared to Mary even before he went to see God the Father.

The first living being to witness the resurrection was not a king or a priest. The first living being to witness the resurrection was a humble woman who had been healed by Christ and who sought Him out early in the morning while others were presumably asleep.

I Don't Believe in Heavenly Mother

As requested, here's my post on why I don't believe in Heavenly Mother.

Several years ago, near the start of my feminist awakening, I felt a yearning to get to know Heavenly Mother. I did the standard thing we do in the church when seeking revelation. I studied the scriptures, I pondered, and I prayed for guidance. The response - chirping crickets and a rolling tumbleweed. Nothing. So I kept at it.