Over at The Narrow Gate, C.J. has an interesting post about the Word of Wisdom. She asks, among other things, what people think of cooking with alcohol or serving alcohol to guests. I started to leave a comment, but my comment was longer than the original post, so I decided to bring it over here instead.
I don't cook with alcohol. My aunt is an alcoholic, and I saw the devastation it brought on her life and the lives of those around her. I decided when I was 5 years old, before I ever heard of the Word of Wisdom, that I would never touch the stuff. (There's enough evidence that there's some genetic component to alcoholism that I don't want to even chance it with cooking. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't all cook out.) That said, I don't have an opinion on whether it would be a violation of the word of wisdom to cook with it. (I know members who do, and members who don't.) I can see good arguments either way. On the one hand, D&C 89:7 says "strong drinks are not for the belly," with the exception of homemade wine for use in the Sacrament. On the other hand, strong drink isn't defined. Does it refer to all alcohol, or only a specific type? I'm not sure; I've never needed to find out.
I also don't serve alcohol, for the same reasons that I don't cook with it. I don't think LDS hosts should feel expected to serve alcohol to guests. After all, if I go to the home of a Jewish friend, I don't expect to be served pork. I don't think it would be wrong to serve alcohol to non-LDS guests, however. I don't see the Word of Wisdom as a universal commandment (after all, Jesus drank wine). I see it, rather, as a community marker that God has commanded for His people in this dispensation. People who have not made those covenants aren't bound by the Word of Wisdom.
Thoughts?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Personal Revelation and the "Ideal"
I've been mulling this one over for a while, and now that I have a few moments, I decided to sit down and write it. Since most of my writing these days has consisted of law review articles, you're going to end up with footnotes. It's an occupational hazard. [1]
I find the rhetoric used in the church to describe the "ideal" to be off-putting. It's usually trotted out in the context of family relations, but it can apply in other situations as well. It goes something like this: The "ideal" is a man and a woman who married in the temple in their early 20's (after the man served an honorable full-time mission), upon which the woman got pregnant within a year or two, quit her job, and became a full-time homemaker. [2] Any other situation is "less-than-ideal" and is something that the parties to the situation should feel at least slightly bad about. We can't acknowledge these situations with more than a few off-hand comments in talks because if we focus too much on them, then the "ideal" will be compromised.
In addition to causing heartache and pain to members whose lives have, for whatever reason, taken a different path, this notion of the "ideal" is in direct contradiction to our belief in personal revelation. Personal revelation comes through the Holy Spirit, a member of the Godhead. How could following instruction from God be less than ideal?
If someone receives personal revelation on a subject that differs from the "ideal", that doesn't make acting on that revelation not ideal. That revelation creates, for that person, a different ideal. For example, I have a good friend who became very close friends with a man not of our faith. As they got closer, she prayed about it and received a prompting to marry him. She was quite surprised by this, and she asked again to make sure she had understood correctly. She had. They've been married for 10 years, and they have a wonderful marriage and family. Marrying him became her ideal.
Personal revelation can serve to liberalize, as in the above instance of marrying a nonmember, but it can also serve to make things stricter for a given individual. For example, men are expected to serve a mission, and women are not. [3] When I reached the age where I was making the decision of whether or not to serve a mission, I received a witness that I should go. This revelation, which came from God, made my personal obligation to serve equal to the obligation of any man. Serving a mission became my ideal, and I would have been disobedient to God if I had chosen not to serve.
Instead of using the term "ideal" to describe the default position, I propose we use a different term which can avoid the baggage of value judgments. Perhaps something like "general rule", "default", or another suitable synonym. Basically, the idea is "do this unless you have revelation to do it differently". This phrasing is consistent with how Elder Oaks frames the issue. He has said:
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[1] I once wrote a 7 word sentence that was followed by an 87 word footnote.
[2] In talking about the rhetoric of the "ideal", I don't mean to imply that there's anything wrong with marrying young or being a full-time homemaker.
[3] See e.g. Gordon B. Hinckley, "Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service", October 1997 General Conference, reprinted in November 1997 Ensign p. 49. Available here. (Accessed April 7, 2010). ("I say what has been said before, that missionary work is essentially a priesthood responsibility. ... We do not ask the young women to consider a mission as an essential part of their life’s program. ... Again to the sisters I say that you will be as highly respected, you will be considered as being as much in the line of duty, your efforts will be as acceptable to the Lord and to the Church whether you go on a mission or do not go on a mission.)
[4] Dallin H. Oaks, "Dating versus Hanging Out", CES Fireside May 1, 2005. Available here. (Accessed April 7, 2010).
I find the rhetoric used in the church to describe the "ideal" to be off-putting. It's usually trotted out in the context of family relations, but it can apply in other situations as well. It goes something like this: The "ideal" is a man and a woman who married in the temple in their early 20's (after the man served an honorable full-time mission), upon which the woman got pregnant within a year or two, quit her job, and became a full-time homemaker. [2] Any other situation is "less-than-ideal" and is something that the parties to the situation should feel at least slightly bad about. We can't acknowledge these situations with more than a few off-hand comments in talks because if we focus too much on them, then the "ideal" will be compromised.
In addition to causing heartache and pain to members whose lives have, for whatever reason, taken a different path, this notion of the "ideal" is in direct contradiction to our belief in personal revelation. Personal revelation comes through the Holy Spirit, a member of the Godhead. How could following instruction from God be less than ideal?
If someone receives personal revelation on a subject that differs from the "ideal", that doesn't make acting on that revelation not ideal. That revelation creates, for that person, a different ideal. For example, I have a good friend who became very close friends with a man not of our faith. As they got closer, she prayed about it and received a prompting to marry him. She was quite surprised by this, and she asked again to make sure she had understood correctly. She had. They've been married for 10 years, and they have a wonderful marriage and family. Marrying him became her ideal.
Personal revelation can serve to liberalize, as in the above instance of marrying a nonmember, but it can also serve to make things stricter for a given individual. For example, men are expected to serve a mission, and women are not. [3] When I reached the age where I was making the decision of whether or not to serve a mission, I received a witness that I should go. This revelation, which came from God, made my personal obligation to serve equal to the obligation of any man. Serving a mission became my ideal, and I would have been disobedient to God if I had chosen not to serve.
Instead of using the term "ideal" to describe the default position, I propose we use a different term which can avoid the baggage of value judgments. Perhaps something like "general rule", "default", or another suitable synonym. Basically, the idea is "do this unless you have revelation to do it differently". This phrasing is consistent with how Elder Oaks frames the issue. He has said:
As a General Authority, I have the responsibility to preach general principles. When I do, I don’t try to define all the exceptions. There are exceptions to some rules. . . . But don’t ask me to give an opinion on your exception. I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord.As a people who believe in personal revelation, we need to make our speech consistent with our doctrine.The Prophet Joseph Smith taught this same thing in another way. When he was asked how he governed such a diverse group of Saints, he said, “I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves.” In what I have just said, I am simply teaching correct principles and inviting each one of you to act upon these principles by governing yourself. [4]
---
[1] I once wrote a 7 word sentence that was followed by an 87 word footnote.
[2] In talking about the rhetoric of the "ideal", I don't mean to imply that there's anything wrong with marrying young or being a full-time homemaker.
[3] See e.g. Gordon B. Hinckley, "Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service", October 1997 General Conference, reprinted in November 1997 Ensign p. 49. Available here. (Accessed April 7, 2010). ("I say what has been said before, that missionary work is essentially a priesthood responsibility. ... We do not ask the young women to consider a mission as an essential part of their life’s program. ... Again to the sisters I say that you will be as highly respected, you will be considered as being as much in the line of duty, your efforts will be as acceptable to the Lord and to the Church whether you go on a mission or do not go on a mission.)
[4] Dallin H. Oaks, "Dating versus Hanging Out", CES Fireside May 1, 2005. Available here. (Accessed April 7, 2010).
Monday, April 5, 2010
Some Administrative Business
I've been absent from my blog for a few weeks because of the move and because of school. I have comment moderation turned on for posts older than two weeks in order to cut down on comment spam. Unfortunately, for some reason, Blogger neglected to e-mail me to let me know I had comments awaiting moderation, and I didn't discover them until today. I've now cleared the moderation backlog, and I apologize for the delay. All comments were legitimate, and they have now been posted.
Happy (belated) Easter!
I was going to write up an Easter post yesterday, but my grandparents surprised me with a visit. (Well, technically, they visited my parents, but I took the opportunity to drive the 45 minutes to my parents' place to spend the weekend with them.) So, Happy Easter, a day late.
Easter was great! General Conference was mostly good, too. I especially liked President Uchtdorf's talk on Sunday morning. I also liked Elder Andersen's talk on Sunday afternoon, reminding us that we should focus more on Christ. I appreciate that the audio from the priesthood session is available for download so that I don't have to wait for the transcripts to find out what the men were told in my absence. I loaded the talks onto my iPod to listen to them while I commute.
Easter was great! General Conference was mostly good, too. I especially liked President Uchtdorf's talk on Sunday morning. I also liked Elder Andersen's talk on Sunday afternoon, reminding us that we should focus more on Christ. I appreciate that the audio from the priesthood session is available for download so that I don't have to wait for the transcripts to find out what the men were told in my absence. I loaded the talks onto my iPod to listen to them while I commute.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Update on My Living Situation
As I blogged here, I've been having roommate trouble. Well, it all blew up in my face on Tuesday. I tried to have a rational conversation with my roommate on the subject, and she flew off the handle, making insults which I will not reprint on this blog. I offered to move out and find her a new roommate, but she started making excuses why that wouldn't work. Then she said that she would move out, and she laid some guilt trip about how she had hoped she would be able to stay until her daughter graduates from 8th grade in June. I told her I wasn't kicking her out, and when she insisted on leaving I offered to help. She stormed off and has been avoiding me ever since.
I've been having problems with the landlord, too. (The complex is a dump, and the landlord doesn't seem to feel the need to comply with notice requirements before demanding entry to the apartment.) After talking to a lawyer, I've decided to just move. Since the lease is so close to being up, it's cheaper for me to keep paying for the place even while not living there than it is to break the lease or make the legal argument that the landlord has broken the lease.
I can see the Lord's hand in all of this. I was able to secure a beautiful apartment in the complex a block away from where I'm living now. There was a special running, so I can afford it. The apartment is just the right size for me, and when I walked inside, it felt like home. (There's no good way to describe it. I just knew it was the right place.) My sister is moving back in with our parents, which is good for her, too. I am officially done with roommates! The next time I live with anyone will be if I get married or adopt children.
Now my crazy roommate can have her shiftless husband around as often as she wants and I don't have to deal with it. I'm moving next Saturday. Hallelujah!
I've been having problems with the landlord, too. (The complex is a dump, and the landlord doesn't seem to feel the need to comply with notice requirements before demanding entry to the apartment.) After talking to a lawyer, I've decided to just move. Since the lease is so close to being up, it's cheaper for me to keep paying for the place even while not living there than it is to break the lease or make the legal argument that the landlord has broken the lease.
I can see the Lord's hand in all of this. I was able to secure a beautiful apartment in the complex a block away from where I'm living now. There was a special running, so I can afford it. The apartment is just the right size for me, and when I walked inside, it felt like home. (There's no good way to describe it. I just knew it was the right place.) My sister is moving back in with our parents, which is good for her, too. I am officially done with roommates! The next time I live with anyone will be if I get married or adopt children.
Now my crazy roommate can have her shiftless husband around as often as she wants and I don't have to deal with it. I'm moving next Saturday. Hallelujah!
Monday, March 8, 2010
I Think I've Run Out of Other Cheeks to Turn
I know we're supposed to be forgiving, and we're supposed to turn the other cheek, but I think I've run out of other cheeks in regards to my roommate situation.
Don't get me wrong; I like my roommates. It's just the garbage that comes along with them that's the problem. I live in a 3 bedroom apartment. I have one room, my sister has another room, and the third room is shared by my 45 year old roommate and her 14 year old daughter. My roommate is separated from her husband, and they're sort of going through a divorce, but not really. (Meaning they don't live together, and when she moved in with me, she told me they were going through a divorce. That was two years ago and nothing has changed.)
Don't get me wrong; I like my roommates. It's just the garbage that comes along with them that's the problem. I live in a 3 bedroom apartment. I have one room, my sister has another room, and the third room is shared by my 45 year old roommate and her 14 year old daughter. My roommate is separated from her husband, and they're sort of going through a divorce, but not really. (Meaning they don't live together, and when she moved in with me, she told me they were going through a divorce. That was two years ago and nothing has changed.)
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Why I Admire Vashti
The book of Esther doesn't quite sit right with me. A few years ago, I was re-reading the book of Esther, and I found a new hero from that story - Vashti. Vashti was the queen at the beginning of the story. She was throwing a party for the women of the court, and her husband, King Ahasuerus, was throwing a party for the men. There isn't much in the text about the women's party, but the men's party involved a lot of alcohol. Ahasuerus sent some servants to fetch Vashti to have her come to the men's party "to show the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on." Vashti declined, and as a result, she was no longer the queen. (The text doesn't state whether she was executed, or whether the king merely divorced her and kicked her out of the palace.)
In various church lessons growing up, I had always heard Vashti used as an example of what happens to people who are disobedient. However, upon thinking it over, I've decided that Vashti is an admirable character. She is strong, and she shows self-respect.
In various church lessons growing up, I had always heard Vashti used as an example of what happens to people who are disobedient. However, upon thinking it over, I've decided that Vashti is an admirable character. She is strong, and she shows self-respect.
Friday, February 12, 2010
28 Years
I'm a blog slacker. (Not to be confused with a Bloggersnacker, which, by the way, is happening in Berkeley tomorrow at 2:00 pm.) I've been so busy with real life that I haven't had much energy to write blog posts lately, though I've been commenting throughout the 'Nacle a bit.
mfranti put up a beautiful poem on Feminist Mormon Housewives about the last 35 years of her life, and she invited the rest of us to post our lists. So, here's the last 28 years of my life, in brief. (My poor writing professor would probably cringe if he read this; he already thinks I'm too concise.)
I am...
different
a dreamer
misunderstood
::emerging::
involved
working
learning
growing
attacked
bruised
::rescued::
climbing
sliding
clawing
tired
clawing
::reborn::
called
striving
struggling
lonely
::not alone::
thinking
questioning
still believing
mfranti put up a beautiful poem on Feminist Mormon Housewives about the last 35 years of her life, and she invited the rest of us to post our lists. So, here's the last 28 years of my life, in brief. (My poor writing professor would probably cringe if he read this; he already thinks I'm too concise.)
I am...
different
a dreamer
misunderstood
::emerging::
involved
working
learning
growing
attacked
bruised
::rescued::
climbing
sliding
clawing
tired
clawing
::reborn::
called
striving
struggling
lonely
::not alone::
thinking
questioning
still believing
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas
Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. I love the opportunity to pause and think of the Savior, and I love spending time with my family.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Why I Stay
Sorry for the lack of blogging. Finals really swamped me this semester. (I'm done, thank goodness.)
This post is a response to a thread on Feminist Mormon Housewives. A non-member wrote in asking what concerns feminist LDS women have with the church, and a lengthy thread ensued. One commenter, also a non-member, asked what makes feminist LDS women stay active in a church with such a patriarchal structure. Since the thread got long, and people started talking past one another, I decided to respond on my blog instead.
In the New Testament, Christ preached many things to the people. At one point, many people became offended and stopped following Him. Christ's exchange with his apostles as a result is instructive.
I have received a witness from the Holy Spirit that God's authority, the priesthood, is contained within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Although the people who make up the church are imperfect, the church is still authorized. In the words of Peter, "to whom shall [I] go?" I have faith that all of the things that are wrong with the patriarchy will be made right through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
When the priesthood was extended to all worthy male members of the church without regard to race, one of the things that stuck out to me in Official Declaration 2 was that the revelation came about in part because of the "faithfulness of those from whom the priesthood has been withheld." Today, my sisters and I are those from whom the priesthood has been withheld. I can't expect change if I'm not faithful. My faith can be a driving force in preparing the way for God to continue to fix man's errors.
This post is a response to a thread on Feminist Mormon Housewives. A non-member wrote in asking what concerns feminist LDS women have with the church, and a lengthy thread ensued. One commenter, also a non-member, asked what makes feminist LDS women stay active in a church with such a patriarchal structure. Since the thread got long, and people started talking past one another, I decided to respond on my blog instead.
In the New Testament, Christ preached many things to the people. At one point, many people became offended and stopped following Him. Christ's exchange with his apostles as a result is instructive.
From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.John 6:66-69.
Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?
Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.
I have received a witness from the Holy Spirit that God's authority, the priesthood, is contained within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Although the people who make up the church are imperfect, the church is still authorized. In the words of Peter, "to whom shall [I] go?" I have faith that all of the things that are wrong with the patriarchy will be made right through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
When the priesthood was extended to all worthy male members of the church without regard to race, one of the things that stuck out to me in Official Declaration 2 was that the revelation came about in part because of the "faithfulness of those from whom the priesthood has been withheld." Today, my sisters and I are those from whom the priesthood has been withheld. I can't expect change if I'm not faithful. My faith can be a driving force in preparing the way for God to continue to fix man's errors.
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